||[Dec. 12th, 2010|05:25 pm]
helen of troy.
|||||a mix of early 2000s pop punk bands||]|
Of course I'll check it. I check this every day, sadly, I didn't check it after I got home from work last night until now. I really wish I had, cause I was thinking about you at that time as well. I miss you like crazy, and it's driving me up the wall not having actually spoken to you in two weeks. I'm still your girl though, always will be. That will never change. Traci says you were signed onto MSN earlier, if you were, I could kick myself for not having known. I wish I could talk to you right now. I've just been trying to keep myself distracted. New laptop, Christmas shopping, new site. It's hard logging onto EH, so I usually only log on for short periods of time, and then I avoid it like the plague.
Actually, I think I'm seeming to everyone else that I'm better off than I am. Sireana is really the only person who's caught onto my games. She always asks me how things are going and such. I'm good at playing the "I'm alright" card. I do talk to you sometimes in the car though- I'll admit that one with my pride on a plate. Usually it's when I'm driving home late at night from work. I hope you're finding something to get your mind off of this whole mess. And I know Marcus has been keeping up on things, thankfully. He checks in now and then, and I feel bad but I totally exploit him to find out about you before even asking how he is. He understands though.
So things on my end are pretty much at a stand still, I'm just throwing myself into anything I can to make the time go by and not sit idly and think up some irrational rescue plan that would make things worse in the end. And I always think about what you would tell me before I take a step. I love you so much, and not having you to talk to just makes me realize how much I really want to make this work. I check my phone and my facebook about ever hour, and apparently I should check this more often. So, without making this a novel, I love you and I miss you. Most of all, I'm yours. Always. <3